High hopes…

I think I mentioned that I love to cook, and while that is entirely true, I did surprisingly little cooking before my diagnosis.  I am currently not in a financial position to cook on a whim, or go buy a laundry list of ingredients to sustain an amateur cook for any length of time. I cooked sporadically when money allowed, which wasn’t too often, much to my dismay.

My main sources of sustenance before my illness consisted of any and every kind of processed (see: cheap) food you can imagine. Salt and fat-packed frozen dinners, heavy pastas, junk food of every variety, whole-fat everything, butter on everything, salt on everything.. you get the picture.  Unfortunately, these are the foods I grew up on, and even though I knew they were bad for me, I didn’t know how to go about constructing a satisfying alternative diet. Laziness and complacency forbade it.

Like I said, the diagnosis was not a surprise to me. In fact, I’m the one who took myself to the doctor because I was fairly convinced I was diabetic.  I was experiencing lower leg swelling, blurred vision (during sugar spikes, I later discovered), and was battling excessive thirst and urination. I was drinking over a gallon of water every day, and waking up every 2 hours to expel it. A good night’s sleep was becoming a thing of the past, and I was generally miserable every single day for about 3 months. (If anyone reading this has also experienced these symptoms and has not had their fasting blood sugar levels checked recently, I strongly suggest you do so!)

I know I’m all over the place with this post, but that is because I have so much I want to express, and not all of it fits into one neat little category.  I’ve never been the most organized person, in thought or in actions. Perhaps I can work on that, as well. I hope this blog will permit me the opportunity to do just that, while also providing me (and maybe you?) with a little bit of optimistic inspiration that seems to be lacking in my daily life. This will be my personal touchstone for when I am feeling less than capable, hopeless, disillusioned, and ready to surrender. So, please bear with me if I go overboard on the hoorays and back-patting at times. I gotta give myself props every now and then, if only to remind myself that I do actually kick ass from time to time.  :)

I would like to finally mention that I do intend to take some photos of myself at my current weight, to use as a “Before” benchmark for my hopeful future weight loss. For anyone that might actually know me, you’ll know how hard this will be for me, since I so very rarely allow pictures be taken of me, especially full-body shots. This will really test my courage, and hopefully be the motivation I need to kick this diet up a notch. I hope I can really go through with it..


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