It won’t be long now…

Something cool occurred to me the other day. I now weigh 12lbs less than the formerly flattering lie I have on my most current driver’s license. I was around 300lbs or so when I listed my weight as 250 back in 2005. How sad is it that “250” was meant to save me some embarrassment? Yeesh. Now, I just have to get down to 190, so I can finally be the weight I had dishonestly listed myself as back in 1992, when I weighed closer to 270! Sorry DMV, I’m a weight fibber like that.

I just got off Skype with my friend Louie. He lives in Palau now, and he keeps pleading with me to come visit him there. I am so not a tropical island weather kind of gal. I’m also not a flying in an airplane anywhere for any reason kind of gal. It did dawn on me that I could now fit rather comfortably in a coach class airplane seat, and no longer require a seat-belt extension thingy, though. I don’t think that would do much to alleviate the heart-exploding anxiety attack I would still endure on a flight to Hawaii and then on to Guam, but hey, it’s a nice thought anyway. Maybe some other time, Lou-Lou. ;)

Kale. I love it.  Sauteed with minced garlic in some olive oil. Fucking phenomenal. Oh! I found bread. BREAD! Diabeetus-friendly bread! Mahler’s California Lifestyle Flax and Soy bread. 6g of carbs per slice, 10g of protein! And it’s not made with a bunch of bizarre crap that gives mice cancer or anything like that, either. All of the ingredients are hippie-approved. Unless you’re scared of wheat gluten because you think gluten is bad because someone else you know thinks gluten is bad for no apparent reason. That happens more often than you’d think. Anyway, having two pieces of bread for an actual sandwich is this rather awesome novelty and I have been enjoying the experience immensely.

Now, for the current numbers:

I am currently 238lbs, which gives me a total loss of  95lbs!! I am so close to 100lbs lost, I can scarcely believe it. I think my last weight update had me at 82lbs lost, and that was close to 2 months ago. My losses are slowing down a bit now, and some of that is intentional, and some of it isn’t. I’ve lessened my daily caloric deficit to around -750 (1.5lbs per week) instead of -1000 (2lbs per week). I felt I was losing too quickly, and while that was sort of the idea initially, in order to get my diabetes under control as soon as possible, I feel like I can now reign things in a bit and try to focus more on overall fitness.

It’s pretty weird to think that I only have around 45lbs to lose now. That seems like a drop in the bucket. I don’t know that I can even remember only being 45lbs overweight before. Maybe when I was like.. 12 years old? What a trip!

13 more pounds until my next progress photo!

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Happy New Year…

It’s the last day of 2012, and I just wanted to say, it’s been a pretty remarkable year. This time last year I was 333lbs, in constant chronic pain from my undiagnosed diabetes, generally miserable, and in the deepest depression I’ve ever endured. I simply did not want to go on.

Now, I’m 85lbs lighter, stronger, healthier, happier, wiser, and looking forward to each day as it comes.

I am thankful to have been able to rely so fully on the people closest to me during a very transformative and somewhat tumultuous period in my life.

My mom — she is rarely mentioned in my blog, but she has made everything possible for me this year (and for many years). She has provided me with the opportunity to focus solely on my health by giving me much-needed financial support during this period, as well as prior to my diabetes diagnosis, when I was so depressed and physically debilitated that I could not function in the real world. She’ll never read this, but I just wanted the world to know how much I appreciate all she has done for me. I hope this year will permit me to return that favor, financially speaking.

My brother Jason — thank you for always being interested in how I’m doing, and for letting me in on what goes on in your life, despite the vast physical distance. You have been a great support to me, and you say exactly the kinds of encouraging words that I have needed to hear. I hope the changes you are making in your own life right now make you the happiest yet. I hope to see you soon. (“like he’s some kinda hotshot!”)

Dawn — thank you for enduring my endless babbling about weight loss, permitting me to brag about my accomplishments, and for tolerating my sometimes asshole behavior. You’re like a sister. Please don’t ever give up on me.

Last but not least — Dan. God, what can I say? I couldn’t get through any of this without you. Your patience, understanding, and steadying force have been the very backbone of my successes this year. Your constant unconditional love is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced, and I am so fortunate to know what that kind of love feels like.

Everyone that has ever given me support, a “like”, a suggestion, a pat on the back — thank you. Knowing that I have your support goes a long way towards fueling my determination and confidence. Two things I’ve never had in great abundance. Until now.

I’m making a commitment to myself right now to lose another 70lbs. It’s alright if it doesn’t happen within this coming year. I’ve got no timeline in mind. Just ultimately, 70lbs. I’m also committing to taking and posting another progress photo after my next 25lb loss. Again, no time-frame constraints — when it happens, it happens.

Happy New Year, everyone!