Long time no see. A lot of changes since my last post back in October. I was struggling with some obsessive thoughts/behaviors concerning my food intake at the time, and I feel like I’ve got a much better grip on things now. And by grip, I mean the opposite of a literal grip. More like vaguely wiggly spirit fingers. Loosey-goosey. That kinda thing.
A consequence of my rather long hiatus from thinking about my weight, calories, etc., is that I have gained approximately 30lbs since July 2013. It’s okay that I gained weight because I was learning how to treat myself with more kindness (with an emphasis on forgiveness for “fucking up”), better understanding what the difference is between mindfulness and obsessiveness, and reframing my mind towards moderation in all things, including moderation.
You have probably already guessed that I will be resuming my fat loss attempt in the very near future. Yep. Tomorrow, in fact. I am coming at this from a different perspective than I was last time, and I have to say, it is slightly daunting. My diabetes symptoms are all but abolished. My blood sugar levels are normal. And while that is excellent news, it also means I am embarking on this new weight loss attempt without the element of panic that was motivating me previously. It makes me wonder if I can just do this without the mortality issue prompting me every step of the way. I suppose only time will tell, but I think I’ve got this.
I’ll be using the rather poorly-named, yet extremely reasonable website fatsecret.com for calorie counting, as well as the corresponding mobile app. I’ll also be hitting the weights and recumbent bike whenever possible. I’m working (finally!) and have kidney stone surgery (UGH) coming up at the beginning of May, so I’ll be taking it easy for while up until then and for a short time thereafter. But, once I’m fully recovered, it’s game on as far as exercise is concerned. After I achieve my extremely reasonable goal weight of 215lbs, I’ll be focusing on body recomposition, which means more lifting, heavier lifting, and consistency. Establishing healthy habits is a priority here, and I feel like my game plan is set-up to permit me to do just that at a reasonable pace. Baby steps, yo.
Starting weight: 243
Goal weight: 215
28lbs to lose, no time frame, slow and steady (aiming for 2 to 4lbs per month)..
And we’re off…..